- i feel sorry for people who lie
- i feel sorry for restaurants with no patrons
- i feel sorry for thinning flocks of migrating geese even though geese are gross
- i feel sorry for tone-deaf music lovers, though i’m told there are none
- i feel sorry for kids who hate sleepaway camp, but get sent there anyway
- i feel sorry for single people who want to be married
- i feel sorry for married people who want to be single
- i feel sorry for glue sniffers and gas huffers everywhere
- i feel sorry for sellers of electric guitars
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