Catalog of Sorrows*

nevver:

  • i feel sorry for people who lie
  • i feel sorry for restaurants with no patrons
  • i feel sorry for thinning flocks of migrating geese even though geese are gross
  • i feel sorry for tone-deaf music lovers, though i’m told there are none
  • i feel sorry for kids who hate sleepaway camp, but get sent there anyway
  • i feel sorry for single people who want to be married
  • i feel sorry for married people who want to be single
  • i feel sorry for glue sniffers and gas huffers everywhere
  • i feel sorry for sellers of electric guitars

*not inclusive, not rated