Ah, but a mere few moments left!
Of this, December 6th — St. Nickolaus Day — it is…A joyful time for well-behaved children, who wake to find their shoes filled with trinkets and treats, though a rather vengeful time of year for the disobedient, in whose shoes awaited switches [with which their parents spanked them], or if they’ve been particularly naughty… a visit from Nickolaus’ dark servant: The Krampus!
Tell me: Did The Krampus terrorize any of you so badly that you promise to be good? Did he flick his slithery black tongue, shackle you, cast you into the flames of hell?
Actually, uh: I guess if that last option were the case, I’d be hearing about it second-hand? [ Tell me everything, oh wondrous little beastlings! For even if you’re more cherubic by nature, look! Look at how delicious he finds the doom of these unsuspecting parents … ]
Consider the duty hereby bestown unto you
To spare all jovial holiday folk: the prospect of impending gloom![ Or you know, like: ‘ Save the cheerleader; save the world ’ — whatevs ]